Reassurance

So Easter was a little earlier this year. It sometimes is in March, but for the past few yrs it has been in April. But anyways, after Easter service or during im not sure which order it came in I decided that Sunday March 23rd began marked my New Year. Yes New Years began in January, but I decided that the day that my savior was resurrected is fitting to begin my own New Year. I decided that my life should start over on this day and there are certain things that I should be doing and should not be doing as I began my New Year. I needed to love more of myself, my neighbors and of course my Father. I needed to begin this relationship clean and healthy. I needed to do this for myself and for no one else. I thought about how selfish and how blind I have been up until that day in the shower when I realized the Glory of the Lord and how he has worked wonders in my life. I realized that he has saved me every year these past 23yrs of my life. Every year he has kept me from harm and every year has continuosly answered my prayers and given me things that I know I definitely do not deserve. He has held my hands all these 23yrs and allowed me to go through life in stride. He has taught me lessons, he has given me punishments, but all I have learned from. Yes surprisingly after being taught some lessons, I continuosly go back to square one, but this New Year I decided to hold my ground, look forward and head to my goal. I am extremely blessed and though i may moan and groan about troubles of my life and troubles of the world...things happen accordingly and I am never let down.
Everytime I hear "Now Behold the Lamb" by Kirk that one line sticks in my head and I believe it. "Why You Love me So Lord I Shall Never Know". Time after time I consistently fail him and time after time their He is holding his hands out to me from the ground where I have been knocked and he brings me right back up. I hope now as I am up i stay this way and continue to go higher instead of lower. I hope now as I am up others can learn from my faith and grow by it as well.
Loves

My Break

So I sit here hungry, my stomach churning desperate for that knowledge to feed that inner pang. So I sit here, thirsty deeply wanting to quench that fire that is rising from my throat. So I sit here as my legs quiver, fiending for that special touch that will make that insane vibration stop. So I sit here deep in thought thinking that I could just fly so high to the sky and disappear into the clouds. But then I back track, like girl you learn how to walk before you can fly. Gotta learn how to hold your balance before you spread those wings . Gotta learn how to say yes I can and no I won't before you arch your back and prepare for flight. So I sit here and think why can't I let go, why can't you believe, why can't you see. Blinded by the craziness called the mind holding me prisoner to the enemy called thoughts I drown my faith in a sea of salt trying to numb my beliefs, trying to numb my world, but insanity keeps coming after me. Calling my name, pulling my arm, tickling my fancies. Damn you know how I get when you touch me there. I hold the Book close, constantly shuffling through tryna find solace. I get down on my knees constantly tryna find truth. I do find it, but then get lost, then I get loose, and then I lose control of everything around me. So my thoughts are unfinished, cuz my job isn't finished. I've come up for air...damn girl you were there for that long. Jae's on a mission to search for what she is missing.

Loves

Secret Lovers

Sitting at the computer and listening to music and the next hit on my playlist is Secret Lovers by Atlantic Starrs. Everytime I hear this song I always feel some type of way and it always touches me. But here are the lyrics evn though some people might already know it. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

How do I relate....(if he wants you to know he will tell you)

Here we are, the two of us together Takin’ this crazy chance to be all aloneWe both know that we should not be together‘Cause if we’re found out, it could mess upBoth our happy homes
I hate to think about us all meeting up together‘Cause as soon as I look at you it will show on my face, yeahThen they’ll know that we’ve been loving each otherWe can’t let ‘em know, no, no, noWe can’t leave a trace

Secret lovers, yeah, that’s what we areWe should not be together But we can’t let go, no, no‘Cause we love each other so
Ooh…ooh…

Sittin’ at home, I do nothin’ all dayBut I think about you and hope that you’re okay Hopin’ you’ll call before anyone gets home I wait anxiously alone by the phone
How could something so wrong be so rightI wish we didn’t have to keep our love out of sight, yeahLiving two lives just ain’t easy at allBut we gotta hang on in there or fall
Secret lovers, yeah, that’s what we areWe should not be togetherBut we can’t let go, no, no‘Cause we love each other so

Secret lovers, yeah, that’s what we areTryin’ so hard to hide the way we feel‘Cause we both belong to someone elseBut we can’t let go‘Cause what we feel is, oh, so realSo real, so real
You and me, are we friendsIs this cool or do we careCan they tell what’s in our mindsMaybe they’ve had secret loves all of the time

In the middle of making love we notice the timeWe both get nervous ‘cause it’s way after nineEven though we hate it, we know it’s time that we goWe gotta be careful so that no one will know

Secret lovers, yeah, that’s what we are Trying so hard to hide the way we feel‘Cause we both belong to someone elseBut we can’t let go‘Cause what we feel is, oh, so realSo real, so real, so real, so real

Loves

Source

Reaching my "O"

Shamelessly I lay on my back breathing breaths of air as you explore the rhythm of my body.

Shamelessly I lay and gyrate my hips to match the movement of your rhythm.

Shamelessly I lay as the beats of yours and mine become one.

Shamelessly I lay as your rhythm explores my body.

Effectively awakening the feelings in my toes, my hips, my navel and my breast.

Tossing my head back I get ready for that high point I know you will reach and I too, inevitably.

Shamelessly with my hands on my hips, the movements I followed.
My thighs became my imaginary guitar strumming through the rhythm of your vibrations.

We are nearing the end and I am reaching my peak.
My body explodes with excitement and the rhythm becomes too hot to handle. Head back, knees bent, toes curl I let out a sigh of liberation as you reach your finally.

The vibration stops, your beat drops, my dancing ceases and your rhythm begin to fade.

I need not speak sometimes and you know just what to do.
But I leaned forward to where you laid and changed the track hoping the next song would do it to me again: Just Right.

Thank you iTunes!

Loves